This is the first post in a new series I’m calling The Sensitive Vitality Series — for the women who feel everything a little more deeply, and are ready to understand why.

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In my book, I share about the life-changing concept of margin, inspired by Dr. Richard Swenson’s powerful work. Margin is the space between your load and your limits. It’s where we catch our breath, listen to God, and reconnect to purpose.

Without margin, we burn out. But with margin, we heal [1].

We live in a world that praises hustle, overload, and busyness. But I’ve learned — through my own healing journey — that we can’t serve others, show up for our callings, or even experience joy if we’re constantly running on empty.

I ran on fumes for years with little margin to even sleep. If our culture does not set us up for this “overload syndrome,” then our own drive to prove our worth certainly will.

The Piece That Took Years to Sink In

Here is what took years to actually sink in, even after I knew it intellectually: margin is not a luxury for everyone equally. For some of us, it is not optional. It is survival.

For years, I ran my body the way everyone else around me seemed to: pushing, producing, performing — in a world that was never built for a nervous system like mine.

Years ago, when I was living that way, way past healthy margins, I did not know that I was one of what was once called the 20 percent — recent research now puts the number closer to 31 percent — of Highly Sensitive Persons (HSP) [2] [3]. In essence, our nervous systems are also way more sensitive to stimuli of any kind, thus we can reach overload sooner than others. I have learned that what I need on a regular basis is more margin.

Margin is indeed the antidote to the “overload syndrome.”

That line is in my own book, written before I fully understood why it mattered so much to me personally. If you are highly sensitive, your nervous system does not just prefer margin — it depends on it.

Are You One of the 1 in 3?

In 2018, researchers found that sensitivity actually breaks into three groups, not two: “dandelions” (about 29 percent of us, resilient almost anywhere), “tulips” (about 40 percent, sitting in the middle), and “orchids” — about 31 percent — highly sensitive, capable of blooming spectacularly in the right conditions, and struggling in the wrong ones [3].

In the research literature, this trait has a more clinical name: Sensory Processing Sensitivity, or SPS. “HSP” is simply the popular term for someone who scores high in SPS — you will see both used, sometimes in the same sentence, and now you know why.

Add the orchids to the tulips — the moderately sensitive middle group — and more than two-thirds of us carry some meaningful degree of this trait. Being highly sensitive is not rare. It may be closer to ordinary. That means nearly one in three women reading this right now is an orchid.

Two Sides of the Same Hand

Being highly sensitive is not a flaw and it is not a diagnosis — it is a well-documented personality trait called sensory-processing sensitivity, first described in the research of Dr. Elaine Aron [2]. And it comes in two sides, like the front and back of your hand — you do not get one without the other.

The Front of the Hand: Your Superpowers

HSPs process sensory information more deeply. We notice more — the tone shift in someone’s voice, the flickering light, the emotional undercurrent in a room. That same depth is where the superpowers live, too. The wrong kind of music can undo me — but classical music sends chills through my whole body in a way the people around me say they simply do not feel. Nature speaks in a language my body understands, not just my mind. Our empathy runs so deep it can bring us to tears — feeling someone else’s pain or joy almost as if it were our own. We connect dots other people do not even see coming, an intuition that often knows before we can explain why. My inner relationship with God runs deep, too, and may be one of the greatest gifts of being wired this way.

The Back of the Hand: Why You Reach Overload Sooner

That depth of processing is a real gift. It is also, biologically, more work. The hum of the refrigerator, the fluorescent light that everyone else tunes out, the sheer volume of a family gathering — all of it registers, all of it gets processed, whether you want it to or not.

This is not just a feeling. A 2025 study measuring cortisol in highly sensitive adults found that higher sensory-processing sensitivity was associated with measurably elevated cortisol [4]. Your nervous system runs hotter, and so does your stress hormone. That is not weakness. That is biology.

An HSP’s nervous system tips into Survival mode faster and takes longer to settle back into Pretty Safe than most. The same schedule, the same to-do list, the same family gathering that barely registers for someone else can tip us into overload — not because we are weak, but because our systems are wired to take in more.

For a highly sensitive nervous system, tipping into Survival mode is often not occasional. It is most days. Layer that on top of perimenopause, when progesterone reserves are already declining, and you have a recipe for exactly the imbalance so many of my patients describe: estrogen dominance symptoms, disproportionate mood swings, sleep that will not cooperate.

The stakes go beyond how you feel today, too. In a landmark study, women living under chronic stress had telomeres — the protective caps on our DNA — that looked biologically closer to a decade older than their lower-stress peers [6]. Stress appears to leave a mark at the cellular level, one connected to how quickly we age.

This is exactly why margin cannot be a once-in-a-while indulgence if you are an HSP. It is daily maintenance for a nervous system that runs hot — and one of the few tools capable of interrupting that cascade before it reaches your hormones and your cells.

A Few of Dr. Swenson’s Prescriptions for Time Margin

If you want to build in more time margin, here are a few of Dr. Swenson’s prescriptions that I lean on:

1.  Expect the unexpected — build buffer into your schedule, not just your to-do list.
2. Learn to say no — every yes is a yes to less margin somewhere else.
3. Turn off the noise — I practice a “digital sunset” and “digital sunrise,” keeping electronics off for at least an hour before bed and after I wake.
4. Practice simplicity and contentment — fewer commitments, held more fully.
5. Separate time from technology — your nervous system was not built to be reachable every waking minute.

A Few of My Own Prescriptions for HSPs Specifically

1. Carry earplugs everywhere. Use them proactively, not just when a space is already too loud — dial down the input before it tips you into overload, not after.
2. Wear sunglasses to dim harsh light — or better, red-tint blue-light-blocking glasses like TrueDark or RA Optics, especially in the evening.
3. Schedule margin on your calendar like an appointment. If it is not blocked out, it will get taken.
4. Use essential oils to support your energy and your adrenal glands, and to help protect your energy throughout the day.
5. Use my calming audio [link] when you need to downshift quickly.
6. Use my “Soothing Your Nervous System” video [link] to help you settle.

Consider This

If you have spent years wondering why you seem to hit a wall faster than the people around you — why the same schedule that energizes someone else leaves you depleted — it might not be a discipline problem. It might be a margin problem.

You are not too much. Your nervous system simply asks for more room than the world tends to offer. Give it that room, and see what changes.

For the women who refuse to let their lifespan outrun their vitality span,

Lori Finlay, NP, CNS

P.S. — If you recognize yourself in this — the overload, the sensitivity, the sense that something deeper is going on with your hormones — I would love to talk with you directly. Schedule your free Clarity Call at ConsultLori.com. Thirty minutes, no pressure, real answers.

References

[1]  Swenson, R. A. (2004). Margin: Restoring emotional, physical, financial, and time reserves to overloaded lives (2nd ed.). NavPress. https://www.navpress.com/

[2]  Aron, E. N., & Aron, A. (1997). Sensory-processing sensitivity and its relation to introversion and emotionality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73(2), 345–368. PMID: 9248053. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.73.2.345

[3]  Lionetti, F., Aron, A., Aron, E. N., Burns, G. L., Jagiellowicz, J., & Pluess, M. (2018). Dandelions, tulips and orchids: Evidence for the existence of low-sensitive, medium-sensitive and high-sensitive individuals. Translational Psychiatry, 8(24). PMID: 29353876. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41398-017-0090-6

[4]  Sensory processing sensitivity in adult dental patients and its relation to perceived stress, cortisol, and serotonin secretion. (2025). Scientific Reports. PMID: 40025052. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40025052/

[5]  Reproduction under siege: How chronic stress hijacks the HPG axis. (2026). Neuroendocrinology. PMID: 42447140. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/42447140/

[6]  Epel, E. S., Blackburn, E. H., Lin, J., Dhabhar, F. S., Adler, N. E., Morrow, J. D., & Cawthon, R. M. (2004). Accelerated telomere shortening in response to life stress. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 101(49), 17312–17315. PMID: 15574496. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.0407162101